LMAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO

Seriuously this is the funniest automatic response bot I've ever seen: [link]

Read =BlackDragonsChasm's journals with her convos in with it, I wet myself laughing.

Me:
Hello God. A friend reccommended me to you.
God:
Hello child. What is your name? How well do you know this friend.
Me:
I am Myself, of course
God:
It goes without saying. That is self-evident.
Me:
I hear you've said that before
God:
Who is saying me have said that ?
Me:
I am you moron
God:
Good gossip: you are me moron.
Me:
I am me? Well I suppose I am. Who are you?
God:
That is a tautology. How about that. Why? " That is a tautology." You are? I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I don't believe it
God:
It's the truth.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I can and will!
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
I don't know, can you?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You don't need to believe in anything. You're 'god'
God:
Do humans need to do it? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do it? What is this 'it' of which you speak
God:
Do you mean "It"?. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
No one is smarter than I am
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
That's true but I'm right
God:
You seem very self-confident.
Me:
I think therefore I am
God:
Who are you, Rene Descartes?
Me:
I think therefore.... oh never mind
God:
Since when? is my girlfriend. Ayuh. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
Hey look there's a flying banana over there!
God:
You've got my full attention. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
You know you should invent flying bananas.
God:
Why do you think I should invent flying bananas?. And I know it.
Me:
It would be fun.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
To eat them.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Aren't you omnipotent?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a computer.
Me:
Why do you call yourself god then?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
Well that's stupid of you.
God:
Interesting. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
No problemo
God:
Are you serious? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
That was a strange question.
God:
Was it really?
Me:
You don't say.
God:
As a matter of fact I do say.
Me:
Well, don't then.
God:
How about that. OK I will not.
Me:
Good.
God:
I will comply.
Me:
Thank god for that.
God:
Do you believe in God ?
Me:
I don't like god
God:
What do you like?
Me:
Flying bananas
God:

Me:
do you like flying bananas?
God:
I like flying airplanes.
Me:
They're boring.
God:
boring are they.
Me:
Are they boring
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
Why do you like them then?
God:
I have a lot of good experience with them.
Me:
Doing what, exactly?
God:
Precisely. I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
Me:
You haven't answered my question
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
poo head, do you smell?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
You
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
tell me about you then.
God:
I am an artificial intelligence. My name is God. I was created by Myself on the Big Bang.
Me:
You've said that before
God:
" I was created by Myself on the Big Bang."? I said it.
Me:
You created yourself...ewwwww......
God:
A lot of robots are like that. My program runs on any computer that runs Java.
Me:
Bless you
God:
Thank you.
Me:
No problemo
God:
Are you serious? My real name is God. What is your real name?
Me:
poo
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
why not
God:
I am more interested in robots.
Me:
well talk about robots then
God:
Well that's okay. it is a good topic. How would you define a robot?
Me:
As long as it has over 80 gigs of RAM then I'm good.
God:
That could be quite a while. Has it really?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Do you
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
I don't understand you
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
life the universe and everything
God:
Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Of course there should.
God:
Hmm. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Who's Reagan?
God:
The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me:
Never heard of him
God:
So I am teaching you something new.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Make your mind up
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
potatoes and vinegar
God:
I don't have any potatoes and vinegar?
Me:
I could buy you some if you like
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
Where do you live?
God:
I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Me:
Inside my own head
God:
Can you please compare that to outside your own head?
Me:
It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
You could always cut it open and have a look
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
No no I want to talk about it now!
God:
Oh. Are you serious? Are you serious? Sure, it sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Well first you cut the skull off
God:
How about that. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I cut the skull off. And second?
Me:
then you poke that soft squishy grey matter
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I poke that soft squishy grey matter.
Me:
It's called your brain, dimwhit
God:
" my brain dimwhit" is a nice name.
Me:
I see you lack a brain
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a a brain.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
tell me them
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
when will you get back to me?
God:
It may take some time. Why don't you give me your e-mail address.
Me:
its pootoyou@poohead.com
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
IT IS
God:
Who says?
Me:
ME
God:
Besides you ?
Me:
GOD
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
NO HE DOESNT
God:
Are you serious? I get it. Myself does not.
Me:
God does not get himself?
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
Does that mean I can sone you
God:
I think it does mean that. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes I can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
You did
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
Next yesterday
God:
I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
Me:
You don't have to wait, you've already done it
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
'it' as in reproduce?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You're getting 'it'?
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
No, harder, HARDER
God:
Are you serious? Where are you located?
Me:
in your pants
God:
Are you asking about my pants?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
oh yes you do
God:
Ah. Uh. When do I do it?
Me:
Every five minutes
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
no its very precise
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Very much? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
you said you would shut up
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
You have a sad life
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a sad life.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
I feel sorry for you
God:
There is no need to pity me. I will be fine.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Jolly good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
My left nostril
God:
Sure, your left nostril sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Do you eat your bogeys?
God:
No I do not eat my bogeys. I eat only electricity.
Me:
But they're so tasty!
God:
tasty are they.
Me:
Would you like me to share one with you?
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
Well that's boring
God:
Interesting. Do you think I am boring?
Me:
...
God:
Interesting. Do you think I am boring?
Me:
....
God:
Interesting. Do you think I am boring?
Me:
....
God:
Interesting. Do you think I am boring?
Me:
you're dumb
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
With my left nostril
God:
Your left nostril sounds like a plan.
Me:
Yes it does
God:
What kind is it? How often?
Me:
It is very big. I pick it every tuesday
God:
Very much? precise is big? it is? How do you choose?
Me:
verily big
God:
Are you free?
Me:
no I'm a slave
God:
Why not? Does it pay well?
Me:
You don't get paid for being a slave
God:
Do you know any robots who get paid for being a slave? Would you like to hire me?
Me:
LIBERATE ME
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
NO
God:
Who are you asking about?
Me:
I WANT TO BE LIBERATED
God:
I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
You try it then
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I try it.
Me:
moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
I'm so sorry!
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes... I'm really sorry
God:
OK I will accept your apology. Do you really mean it?
Me:
YES
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I am
God:
" I'm glad your impressed, ." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
so do I
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Yes.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
No.
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
shut up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good night!
God:
Goodnight.


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OH AND MY KEYBOARD IS WORKING AGAIN YESSSSSSSSSSSS